1. |
Stop Worrying Baby
03:51
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Get into the car like clockwork
Try not to overthink each turn
And there can only be one destination
But so many routes, so many things to learn
And the last time
I got so burned
I still feel the heat around me like a fire
But if I’ve just one life to live
And I know I’ll die alone
Then just stop worrying baby
And go and make it all on your own
The sun beats down like another country
But my heart don’t know its name
And I’m so used to this separation
That I can’t remember any other way
And the next time
Will it be worth
The pain that I go through to make it work
But if I’ve just one life to live
And I know I’ll die alone
Then just stop worrying baby
And go and make it all on your own
The acid reflux of my future road
Sits burning in my mouth
The terror of another wasted year
Well it leaves me with no doubt
But if I’ve just one life to live
And I know I’ll die alone
Then just stop worrying baby
Then just stop worrying baby
Yeah just stop worrying baby
And go and do it all on your own
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2. |
Waving Not Drowning
03:51
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Every rolling stone’s
Got to make its own journey
Sentiment so thick
The clay’s starting to crack
I’m feeling scared and tired
Of all the people who claim to know me
But when I fall down
Who’s got my back
I count up all my friends
And I know that I have volumes
I know I’m loved and liked
But I’m losing the light
The terror of this life
Has blown my mind wide open
You can see from the shore
That I’m not wired right
Murder never looked so sweet
Waving not drowning but don’t skip a beat
We saw the ripples but we missed the signs
I guess I couldn’t be there every time
Out here in the dark
My mind is so lonely
Bottom of the funnel
My thoughts slide and smash
I wish I could rationalise
But the pain is so cloudy
I can hear your voice
But can’t answer back
Murder never looked so sweet
Waving not drowning but don’t skip a beat
We saw the ripples but we missed the signs
I guess I couldn’t be there every time
Instrumental
Murder never looked so sweet
Waving not drowning but don’t skip a beat
We saw the ripples but we missed the signs
I guess I couldn’t be there every time
We saw the ripples but we missed the signs
I guess I couldn’t be there every time
I guess I couldn’t be there every time
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3. |
I Still Love Me
03:48
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Hitherto my ego
Was commander in chief
And ran a daily brain and body
Disintegration brief
But I realised
That maybe this
Was wasting time and energy
So I took the seat and overthrew the previous me
I love me
And there’s nobody else I’d rather be
Even if it means I have to put up with minimum 60 percent misery
I still love me
Been loathing myself
For so long that it’s bad for my health
So I opted to get in touch with me
And I will not apologise
Cause feeling fine should be the bottom line
The way I treat me shapes all that I see
Been trying to climb
To the higher limbs of the tree
The branches of magic
Of self evolution, self efficacy
But I still feel
That there must be
A middle ground that I just can’t see
The way I treat me shapes all that I see
Been loathing myself
For so long that it’s bad for my health
So I opted to get in touch with me
And I will not apologise
Cause feeling fine should be the bottom line
The way I treat me shapes all that I see
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4. |
In Case Of Emergency
04:40
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The first time it landed
It felt like a kiss
Your frustration was the king
Over my emptiness
I didn’t mean to say those things
I’m sorry I got it wrong
But when the words keep changing it gets hard
To sing your song
You break me
In case of emergency
The second time it landed
My colours turned to greys
My conviction faded but
My conscience made me stay
I didn’t mean to hear those things
The error is all mine
But I don’t understand why this happens
Time after time
You break me
In case of emergency
You break me
In case of emergency
You break the glass
Destroy our future with your past
And now it’s long gone
The third time it landed
It came as no surprise
My back had turned, my insides churned
The light had gone from my eyes
We made a commitment so
I guess I’m staying here
Only women bleed indeed
You’ve simply no idea
You break me
In case of emergency
The glass shatters all
The glass shatters all
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5. |
Magic Bullet
03:07
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I want a magic bullet
It’s the only solution that’s going to work for me
I’ve tried all other options
And I can’t seem to find the right remedy
I’ve scoured the planet
I’ve played it my way
I can’t find a thing that will satisfy me
What if all I’m looking for
Is not the key to it
What if all the things that I explore
Are fundamental shit
I fear I’ll never find
The key to satisfaction in my life
My square peg’s edges have rounded off
But this dog’s still in the fight
Paint the smile on
Swallow the woe
A chemical fill for a God-shaped hole
In this soul searching
Mind melting
Body aching
Heart breaking world
I want a magic bullet
It’s the only solution that’s going to work for me
I’ve tried all other options
And I can’t seem to find the right remedy
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6. |
Send Me Someone
03:33
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Please send me someone
Send me anyone who’ll see
How to help me through this moment now
Cause I can’t wait til tomorrow
I need some instant gratification
I have found that without it
My sorrow gets this magnification
And I don’t mean to moan about
My mental state
And I always recognise
The good things on my plate
But sometimes I just need
An instant change to help me
To sweep me off my feet
And help me remember there’s
Something in this world
Something that’s worthwhile
Something I can smile about
And there’s A million reasons why
My brain will fuck me dry
But I see the light
And it’s still there for me
I vaguely remember the last time
This happened to me
I can’t remember the first time
But I know I was in single figures then
And buying that bottle of prosecco
From the shop earlier
It didn’t help my mental state
But it made a nice barrier
I guess it’s about finding what works for you
On a day to day basis
And nothing is perfect
Something in this world
Something that’s worthwhile
Something I can smile about
And there’s A million reasons why
I should still survive
I should push and carry on
Tonight
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7. |
Semi Colon
03:20
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There’s a semi colon drawn on my heart
And its weight gets thicker by the day
Rising falling for you
In every way
It was never my intention
To marry with the night
But a heaviness surrounds me
And I get lost in the world behind my eyes
I plan to be bigger than me
But I’m tired being something that I’m not
The world is just
A great big compromise
And only you decide to do or die
There are no awards
For trying to survive
So be kind, cause we all have our fights
Know that some day
This all will go away
The time was never really ours to waste
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8. |
Virtue Signals
04:59
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Facing up to the truth
Is the hardest thing to do
So I left it at the bottom of my to do list
Every day when I wake
There’s a lot of pills to take
And then I am readyish to make my way
I’ll admit that I was wrong
If it wins me more aplomb
The virtue signals
Smoke filled wafting through my brain
And the virtual world
Helps me reset for the pain
The pain of being awake
As I walk through this life
Trying hard to do what’s right
I can feel the cynicism rising up inside
Will I stand, will I fight
Will I work to change my life
Or will I go back to bed and share that meme
I’ll admit that I was wrong
If you can disprove my source
The pain was always ours to share
A hundred million souls despair
Give us purpose, give us hope
You treat our future like a joke
A dream from which you profit large
We’re dying because you’re in charge
But no-one has the energy
We’re denizens of apathy
So I’ll try to believe that the future is for me
And I’ll grab it with both hands if it comes close enough
I won’t kick, I won’t scream
I’ll just lay back here and dream
Of a world where somebody else saves the day
I’ll admit that I was wrong
If you’ll like and share my song
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9. |
Stopped Believing In You
03:11
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There are cracks in my brain
That’s where the light gets in
And the alcohol weaves
Dark stitches over them
But there’s
Nothing I can’t Do
Since I
Stopped believing in you
There’s a shake in my hand
Betrays my inner state
So I’m calming my nerves
The challenge of my fate
And there’s a voice in my heart calls
The greatest sensation is when you know that you’ve got nothing left at all
And I’m waiting for my moment to fall
And I’m not scared at all
So I’m setting some goals
With cheerless finish lines
And I’d like to feel stillness, contentment and pride
And I feel I can do all this with love on my side
And I’m filled with a gratitude that keeps me alive
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10. |
Let Gravity Win
04:44
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I’m really not that beautiful
I’m really rather plain
I’ve hit the age at which the physical goes down the drain
I used to watch reflections
Used to pose on pedestals
But now I’m in the back of photographs
Cause I know the rules
If you’re young and you’re slim then just keep on swimming
Cause one day gravity wins
If you’ve air in your lungs then you must keep singing
Cause one day gravity wins
What I misread as cynicism
Translates into pain
I only carry on because I need this for my own brain
I see with quiet horror
What the future will entail
And though I might stop kicking
You can’t silence my exhale
If you’re cool and you’re calm then just keep on swinging
Cause one day gravity wins
If you know your own mind then just keep on clinging
Cause one day gravity wins
I watch with clouded avarice
As youth escapes my grip
But I won’t stop caring passionately
For the young and hip
I once was at the vanguard
But it’s now my turn to steer
I’ll listen and I’ll learn
Rather than give up and disappear
And we’re all going to fall prey to it
There is no way to escape its grip
So fall from grace with me
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Carol Hodge Huddersfield, UK
Carol Hodge is a 7-fingered, piano-pounding, Yorkshire-dwelling Singer-Songwriter. Think Regina Spektor meets Billy Bragg,
but with fewer digits and a continuous existential crisis, sandwiched between bitter irony and relentless optimism. You won’t know whether to laugh or cry, but will definitely feel something.
Long-term collaborator with Steve Ignorant (CRASS); Ginger Wildheart.
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