Hold On To That Flame

by Carol Hodge

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1.
Stop The World In Its Tracks A nation of miniature dog lovers Who weep for the death of a lion But spit vitriol neat at the thought of defeat By a few desperate refugees The minister’s cuts to the LCD Are rabidly rejustified He’s a person inside Had a young son who died Not a victim of ATOS crimes If you listen closely in the night you’ll hear them Cry themselves awake I can’t be the only one around here Who’s losing sleep and Face the facts We’re underwhelmed and overtaxed But that won’t stop the world in its tracks A city of commerce and factories Now tall with apartments and cranes But the word on the street is now mute and replete ‘Cause we don’t know each other’s names In the house at the end lives an OAP Forced to choose between eating and heat No-one knows that she’s there And it’s not like they don’t care It’s just that they never meet We’re overwhelmed and full of lack One day we will dance round a brand new flag When George and his Dragons are slain We can melt apathy if we keep disagreeing And promise you’ll always change I cling to my hopes ever positive I believe in a future that’s bright We’ve a long way to go and God only knows That it won’t happen overnight There’s one way in and no way back
2.
No Holds Barred You say Don’t worry about the small things But small things Are the things that kill Haven’t you read that book about The end of the world You say you’re no holds barred for me Your love it has no bars You say you’re no holds barred for me And I’m the only one The only one who just can’t see You say Don’t worry about what’s between us But what’s between us Is something no-one else can see You say you’re no holds barred for me Your love it has no bars You say you’re no holds barred for me And I’m the only one The only one who just can’t see
3.
You Don’t Dream Enough Non-ecstatic nomadic Is the name of the lifestyle I lead these days Minimalist and tragic I’m now downwardly mobile to NFA These words of wisdom Are the only things that I heard today So I’ll listen carefully ‘cause I’m trying to understand what they say If you can’t fit all of your things into the back of your car Then you own too much If you can fit all of your dreams Into the palm of one hand then you don’t dream enough Forfeited stable income For the ghost of a hand over fist My career as an educated guesser Suddenly just didn’t fit These words of wisdom Are the only things that I ate today So I’ll chew them over ‘Cause I’m trying to live just by what they say If you can’t fit all of your things into the back of your car Then you own too much If you can fit all of your dreams Into the palm of one hand then you don’t dream enough I had a love That was sure as the stars that shine And I gave it up For some reasons I could not define And it hurt like hell when I fell And the universe pulled me to my feet And I got some grit in my knees And some more for my teeth ‘Cause I’m not gonna sit here and just admit defeat If you can fit all of your things into the back of your car Then you own enough If you can fit all of your dreams Into the palm of both hands then my god you’re in luck If you can’t fit all of your things into the back of your car Then you own you too much If you can fit all of your dreams Into the palm of one hand then you don’t dream enough
4.
First World Problems Pick up your face You’ve no need to feel down Measure your problems with those all around And you’ll see It’s all first world Don’t be so selfish Don’t be introspective Broaden your mind to the global perspective And see It’s all first world So don’t give me your problems I’ve got problems of my own And I have no sympathy For those who don’t know they’re born Count your blessings and Those around you who Care about you would Never doubt you cause you Are not of this world If you have somewhere to live And you have food to eat And you have clothes on your back and Shoes on your feet You’ve no right to complain It’s not a disease if you can’t even see it You just want attention You just want to be in the Centre of things I know your type It’s a new generation When I was younger we never had Problems like these ‘Cause we fought ‘til we dropped And we worked ‘til we dropped And it was all a bed of roses So don’t give me your problems I’ve got some of my own And I have no sympathy ‘Cause you’re over dramatic You’re over emphatic You’re exaggerating You’re always complaining You don’t know you’re born You don’t know who you are You don’t know who I am You don’t know what this is
5.
Your Heart Is Breaking Well I wish you’d stop behaving As though your heart is breaking Or at least just admit it’s not about me Well I know that you’ve got A lot on that plate of yours I’m not going anywhere So won’t you just please let me help you clear Oh let me help you clear it Don’t throw it all away Just to prove me wrong I’m not gonna beg at your feet But I can’t move on Knowing something’s gone So let it all fail with me Let the sky fall like the end of a scene If everything dies then it’s Just a matter of time But that time inbetween That’s where I’ll be Well I wish you’d stop to listen To all the love I’m giving Then the weight of your doubts Will cut us both free Well I know that you’ve tried To trust in this world of ours I know that you’ve fallen down But please just give me your hands right now And I’ll pull you back to safety
6.
Fallibility 03:50
Fallibility What hurt the most Is that you never said goodbye to me What cut the deepest Is not your aggression But your inability to see your fallibility Perfection never walked through my front door so let’s Let’s just stop pretending it did And I could have loved you for all of your faults but you You couldn’t hold back to let me My waking hours were spent On the hook of your attentions And now my evenings are anxiety bent ‘Cause I can’t see an end to this Confusion Now all that’s left between us Are scorched wires melting the path from Mars to Venus And I would have walked for 3000 miles to be on your planet but you You threw water on my map Perfection never walked through my front but let’s Oh well let’s just start pretending that it did And I would have loved you for all that you are but you You couldn’t hold yourself back to let me in
7.
Weather The Storm It’s been 28 days since I Walked out on you Now I just wanna work for myself It took an awful long time to Build up to this But if I’d waited any longer it would have Ended in hell I don’t believe any more in Waking up early I don’t want to compare and compete But if that’s all that we’re built for I don’t wanna be there when the system breaks So Fly on little dreams You’re not welcome anymore How dare you distract me for so long There’s been a lot of bad blowings Been going on And I don’t know if I’ll weather the storm No I don’t know if I’ll weather the storm I dreamed of this day For so long Now it’s here I don’t know what to Do with myself From the outside in it’s all Rhythms and sins But this time spent alone well the The company’s killing me softly Living in the moment’s fine but Moments are rare I don’t know what to do without You in my hair If this is the universe then I Accept my fate But it’s not what I It can’t be what I Signed up for So Fly on little dreams You’re not welcome anymore How dare you distract me for so long There’s been a lot of bad blowings Been going on And I don’t know if I’ll weather the storm No I don’t know if I’ll weather the storm
8.
Bullet In The Moonlight Even though there’s nothing wrong There’s still something going on Something to change And as I listen to the sound Of the world as it falls down Nothing looks or sounds strange Maybe it’s because I’m already dead Maybe it’s because I’m gone inside Maybe it’s because I don’t believe a word that you said Maybe I can’t and that’s just the ride But I can see a bullet the shape of your head I can see it glisten in the moonlight But it’s pointing This way instead And I don’t know how to escape its flight Maybe it’s because it’s all in my head Maybe it’s because I’m wrong this time But I’m wondering when it’s going to end ‘Cause I’ve Been here for the longest time I can see a bullet the shape of your head I can see it glisten in the moonlight But it’s pointing This way instead And I don’t know how to escape its flight
9.
The Witch Is Dead The moment that I heard the witch was dead I wondered what her mother thought If all the years of memories pure and true Could overcome what she had done It’s not easy to try And see it through her eyes We all start the same But we’re products of The world our brains create So go home And hold the one you love That little bit tighter tonight And sleep snug Safe and sound because you know There’s one less touch of evil One less grain of rotten alive Tonight The witch is dead An hour later on the word had spread We hear the words the world has weft The disbelief disintegrates the jokes are read Like cartwheels turn inside our heads And it’s easy to hear The truth that gives us cheer An escape for a while A diversion from The world our brains create So go home And hold the one you love That little bit tighter tonight And sleep smug Safe and sound because you know There’s one less touch of evil One less grain of rotten alive Tonight The witch is dead The witch is dead!
10.
Undone 04:04
Undone This soul That started out as wrong Has come undone Thanatos he takes my hand in his own Waiting for the day when I will take the throne And though I like the offer I’m destined to decline For so many others have souls more worthy of that station than mine This soul That started out as wrong Has come undone In the evenings when the sun has disappeared I draw my sheets up tight and feel his presence near A tightness in my chest, the taste of sour breath I steel my resolve and await the morning to be sure he has left This soul That started out as wrong Has come undone I know one day soon I’ll meet him face to face Begin the danse macabre and quicken to his pace But ‘til that combat mortal rears its final head I’ll keep on escaping the headless horseman and ride his back to death
11.
Bear With Me 04:13
Bear With Me I am the death of parties The full averted gaze The crossing over of the road The look the other way I murder conversations With dull inanity I redirect all subject matter to the woe is me I know I act this way It’s killing me a little every day Bear with me while I try Try to make a change I say it doesn’t matter I dig my heels in deep Resolve to rewire faulty brain Each night before I sleep And when you try to help me I freeze and push away Distrustful of assistance Solitude’s the only way I know I act this way It’s killing me a little every day Bear with me while I try Try to make a change I watch the normal people Envy the ignorant bliss I’ve seen behind the curtain and I know I should not exist I’m tired of my own voice I ache to start anew Erase each element of me To create something good I know I act this way It’s killing me a little every day I know I act this way And I don’t know what else to say But bear with me while I try Try to make a change

about

Released independently in June 2018 on Chopback

credits

released June 24, 2018

All songs written by Carol Hodge
Vocals, BVs, piano, midi instuments: Carol Hodge
Guitar, bass, drums, production, mastering: Dave Draper

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Carol Hodge Huddersfield, UK

Carol Hodge is a seven-fingered, piano-pounding, Yorkshire-dwelling Singer-Songwriter. Think Regina Spektor meets Billy Bragg, but with fewer digits and a continuous existential crisis, sandwiched between bitter irony and relentless optimism. You won’t know whether to laugh or cry, but will definitely feel something.
Long-term collaborator with Steve Ignorant (CRASS); keys for Ryan Hamilton.
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